ONLY IF I HAD YOU!!!

This post is straight from someone's heart for an everlasting love that never really originated from the other side!!
But that heart still loves you!!

Was it you,
Or was it my dream where i had you,
Was it in my life,
Or was it a fantasy where i got you.

No matter what it was,
At the end,
It was you,whom i did everything for,
it was you,
whom i let everything go for.
At the end,
what i got is nothing,and
what i lost is everything.

Was it in my eyes or was it in my heart,
where i saw you,
Was it on my body or was it on my soul,
where i felt you.

No matter what it was,
At the end,
it was only you,whom i let my eyes look for,
it was only you,whom i search in my dreams for.

At the end,
what i got is nothing,and
what i lost is everything.

And, what i want is that
just look in my eyes for one more time, and,
you'll see the whole new world
for you and me,
the world where we can be all alone and alone....

I hope you all like this..Until next time it's bye from an "anonymous" heart..:)))..

ALL ABOUT MONEY !!!

The most common definition of money is:anything of value that serves as a (1) generally accepted medium of financial exchange, (2) legal tender for repayment of debt, (3) standard of value, (4) unit of accounting measure, and (5) means to save or store purchasing power.In common usage:Cash!!But in my case the definition is totally "out of the ordinary"!!

I am not really intersted in telling the merits of money.They are "copious", but there is one thing, that i think you all would agree on, of those myriad "merits", 99.99% are "OVER" materialistic!!In today's "money driven" world, the actual "moral" value of money has vanished.

Today we are judged  mostly by our financial status, by what we have achieved rather than what we are, and that thing is totally  incomprehensible to me!!
A small land in a big place is far more dear to us than a big place in a small heart!!
Today i am going to tell you about one of my thought that has kept me alive to this "covetous" life !!

I treat the "normal" human life as a question paper, even though we all hate it, there's no chance we can neglect it!!
Suppose a "normal" question paper has 5 questions of 20 marks each and the time to solve the paper is 3 hours..If a person knows all the questions very well but what he does, he spend about 2.5 hours in Q.1.He draw the lines, underline the important words and put mind blogging quotations, in short the examiner cannot give him any marks less than 20.But, he has just screwed up with the other 4 questions and also missed out the "requisite" query.Though he would get 20 marks in Q.1 but he would not score good or may even fail!!

That is how the life works.
It has 4 most important M's-

1-Materfamilias aka parents and family

2-Moral life

3-Money, to be precise "how to make money"

4-Marriage

These are those 4 questions that i think(at present,few others may add later), are the backbone of a "successful" life.And the first M is the "compulsory" question(for me atleast)!!
But, what we are doing is really threatening.We are only busy dealing, designing, caring, the third M..and doing that we are on the verge of "failing" the most important test!!My life experience tempts me to conclude that "jitna accha paisa nahi hona hai, utna accha paisa hona nahii hai"!!
What money has done is that it has made ourselves commit the most petrifying sins, killing, saying "cuss" things, neglecting our "inner self", and the list is an endless tail of terror!!
On my part, money is not gonna be the important question in my life, what i'v been trying to do in all these years of my life is  to make a good balance between these 4 questions and in no way the compulsory question would be neglected for a "material".After all, it is not always about money and getting honey!!

Until next time, it is bye from my side, and this post is an ode to my grandfather, who died recently.Hope his soul rest in peace!!
Take Care!!!

20 "HOT" "COOL" FRIENDS!!

It is turning out to be a friends week for me.My last three posts were "about" friends, and this one is "for" my friends.In this post, i am going to tell you about my 20 most precious friends and the relationship i share with them.All you guys are going to love this(hope so)because what i am going to write is "kind of" out of "original friends slot".I am going to reveal some of the hush-hush, not mine(genuine), of my friends.These 20 friends include people who are either with me now or were with me at some weather of my life.Before introducing you to my 20 friends, let me tell you how  i am gonna reveal those closet to you!!!


There are numbers from 1 to 20.Corresponding to each number there's a short contingent about that "numero" friend.What you need to do is to search for your number and also try to guess a friend corresponding to other one(not necessarily all) and get to know your's and others revealed "my perceptible" facts!!

1-You hit me with your incisive nails.Elder by birth but younger by choice!

2-Sometimes speak too much to piss me off and a "fake" speaker.Great sense of humour!

3-Emotionally numb and dumb.Anger of no use.Coward of  "simple" situations but still very lovable!"D.M.A"

4-"P"urely "p"assionate about writing.Very emotional!;)

5-"B****I".Afraid of cuss language!"B.T"

6-Very precious.6 months of friendship and at least 600 fights.Introvert!Lovable!

7-Had my best 5 months with you.Caring but a lier by choice.Selfish, but for my good!Wish i could have you..:(

8-Over thinking, book worm, sometimes selfish, but a "cute parasite" that has promised to accompany me till my death!

9-"College"+"B.T"+"Novels"+"Luthra connection"."B.T" friends you know who i am talking about!LOL!!


10-T.V.S, whisky, tube light, weird expressions, Adam Gilchrist fan, very helpful and caring!

11-College, no phone number, always ready to fight !


12-School, College, very cute "Dadi amma(as i say to tease you)", very sweet, Ranbir kapur jacket(Anjaana Anjaani)..:D:D


13-"Noddy", always smiling, epic sense of humour!
14-Never seen you get angry, very intelligent, "Accenture"!!


15-Only 2 years elder to me, share close secrets with me, extrovert, movie buff, "Accenture" !


16-My childhood friend.Had a marathon fight for 2 years."Mere saamne vaali khidki" !!


17-Never really talked to you when we studied together.Low on morale one day, facebook helped me in getting you high on it, love your criticism!!


18-My friend since class 7.A family.Can't see me cry,life unimaginable without you,my P.C and mobile mechanic!!


19-My "Gudiya" !!


20-"Like" every "Facebook" stuff."Backbencher" !!


So,guys this writing is purely for all of you..I hope you liked it.Until next time keep searching for your number!!Take care:):)

BUSTLING NIGHT!!

It is 2:30 am in the morning when i am writing this.The sleep is far away from me as i am really missing my mother who is out of station for a purpose!
The folklore with my life is that some very weird,wacky thoughts/queries ping the door of my mind when i am either asleep or about to be dead..Today my brain wave has knocked me down again with yet another noticeable notion which i feel is worth sharing!!So,here i go.

In this life of ours we all are driven by two responses to multiple different conditions..One is the emotional retort and other is the practical response!In similar situation different people evoke different responses differently for a different reason!!This verity is known to all of you so i won't go on elaborating this any further!

We all are driven by emotions,which are very necessary to have,but when overflown may also cause  burden to us,sometimes shed able and sometimes not!!You all know who is an "emotional" person and who is the "practical" one!But,still i want to tell you what exactly is the "kind of" definition of these two "responses" in my dictionary!
An emotional person is someone who is easily affected with or stirred by emotions. It is good to know ourselves and our personalities. Some people are more emotionally led than others, and knowing this can prevent lots of heartache and pain in life.I am a guy who falls in this category and have always paid heavily because of my inclusion in this list!Even if we do not fall into the category of an "emotional" person, we each have emotions and are in danger of being led by them. We may get up one morning feeling depressed and follow that feeling throughout the day.The next day, we may wake up angry,feling like telling somebody off - and that's what we end up doing. Other times,we may wake up feeling sorry for ourselves and sit in a corner crying all day long.I spent around two years of my life which were totally"stirred" with "overflown" emotions(no practical side) and that is the reason i am able to describe about only one type of response!!
Talking about the other side,i just know as much you all know!!Don't want replication of your thoughts so avoiding to describe the other side!!


In the end.i would like to tell you what i percive rather than what i percieved!!


"Wisdom always waits for the right time to act, while emotion always pushes for action right now! Emotionalism is rash. It calls for immediate action. While wisdom calmly looks ahead to determine how a decision will affect the future, emotions are only concerned with what is happening at the moment."


This seems more "practical", but unfortunately(or fortunately) i am still with the emotive side!


Keep hoping,be greedy,be good,be jealous but only to yourself!!

                                         

CRYSTAL CLEAR BEST FRIEND?

You might be ruminating that why i am so keen on writing about friends nowadays..but,at present,there is something going on in my life that makes me feel like doing so..We all want friends,more and more stupendously "imperfect" friends.Right,i said "imperfect",because it is a perceptible datum that our friends are always 'imperfect' i.e before meeting them or after screwing up with them or even when we are dating them,they never become perfect "individually"!So,quite naturally,our foes are all "perfect"!!
So,what is the reason of this imperfection??
It is an uncanny question with an elementary answer!Read on!

Since childhood we all have atypical class of friends.Some are "hi,hello" friends,some "Bus" friends,some "Eye contact(this list is very colossal in my case:))" friends,some "terrace" friends and the list goes on but it never cease!So,who exactly is our best friend?Do anyone of you(including me) know the exact meaning of "best" friend?Maybe no,maybe yes!
We meet,we laugh,we cry,we study,we roam,we fight,we sort out,we fight again,we sort out again and what we see after some time is that we start saying him "Yaar tu mera best friend hai".
My mother use to say me "If,ever in life,you get one true friend just feel proud of yourself because what you have achieved is what 99% of people are deprived of throughout their life circle"..
Your best friend is the person who is "imperfect" but whose imperfections are just "perfect" for you,is sometimes fake but only for you,under whose company you just want to succumb all your worries to him to solve them in any case,you do not know anything in your exam and when you call him   he says "Tune itna to kara hai,mai to bas ab book uthane ja raha hu,you don't take tension kal saath me fail honge",seeing him after a long time would make you jump out of your bed,when you want to die he don't stop you but admit to die with,and for,you,his single lie would hurt you a little but not "affect" you(as you know he is always right),you say you like a girl and he says "Saale,ab iska number hai" and then help you in getting her,who understands you when you are at your "dumbest" silence,who never points out your "imperfections" but always make you feel they are "perfect" and without your knowing make you just "perfectly fine"..:)This is what best friend is all about..now,i am sure,you must be getting my "elementary answer"..

I really feel deuced in getting you..

So,in the end i just want to say you might have numerous hello in buses and myriad eye contact on terrace but those would not lead you succumb your worries..Never leave your best friend,put him to your most stringent "tests",let him fail,let him fail again..Who knows you might end up making "imperfect" him "perfectly" yours..:))).

                            Until next time,it is bye from my side..Be good and keep smiling!!!!

    

I NEED YOU TOO

We all have this desire to become "Someone special" for someone..and that is the reason a common person like me and you search for that X factor in someone very very ordinary..We try to find him in every step of our life..When we were born we searched him in our relatives,when we grow a little older we searched him in our friends,a little more older,in our girlfriends/boyfriends,a little more older,in our wife/husbands,a little more older in our children and this chain keeps on multiplying until we die but has no equation of division or subtraction in it..
FRIENDS  is a word that has a defined definition but actually it is more of a feeling,a feeling that has no definition..I am sure this must have happened to all of you that sometimes you care for a particular person like you have never cared for anyone before,the only thing you have been doing in a day's run and a night's sleep is to just think of that one little thing to make him/her smile and a little tear in his/her eyes would make you sick,fighting with him/her would make you feel like dying and you are with him/her whenever they need you.Am i right??I know this has happened to you too.This has happened with me too as i am no different.
But,does that person also feel the same for you..Will he/she be there when you need them??
In my case,my answer is no..A big no..Here,i would like to tell that this described feeling should not be,at any point,considered as love..It is friendship,true from my side and ambiguous from yours.
I just want to ask why are you not there with me when i needed you the most,why do you always think that i don't care for you,why do you think that that i am hiding something..why?
I do not have an answer to this.I have done enough for you.If you want me,be with me,else leave me.I am also a human who also wants to be loved.I am no different.I can not settle more quarrels and i do not want to accept any more apologies.If you are my friend,what i want is that you understand me,trust me.
After all 

                 I NEED YOU TOO

Awaiting Justice!!

One day during sleep,I asked my mother..."Have you ever seen any eunuch studying"..I dont know where did the question originate from,but it did..I turned up to my mother to give an answer to this.

She said no.I asked again "But y..Are they not the part of this society?"..She asked me where do i get these weird questions from and then ordered  me to sleep.. HUH.

We all are aware of the word EUNUCH aka HIJRA(as most of us call them)and we are those sick people who call them to give benediction to a new born baby as a part of our tradition..F*** Off  this tradition..On one side we are not accepting them as a part of our society and on the other hand,we are asking them to give blessing to a new born child..Does it make any sense?? I dont think so.
This world is full of haunting sarcasm..But,it seems,this is the most distressful of the lot.

The hijras in our country find it hard to get beneficial education.Employment opportunities are very rare.Most public and private companies use several excuses to deny employment to them.They never gain the affection or support of their families,a desire that will remain another dream for them.Suffering from a sexual identity crises and physical deformalities,they could not talk to anyone in their family and are labeld a "sinner" for no sin.
Now take a look on this article i read in Frontline.It shows the torture these "humans" are facing by "we,non humans".


Being A Eunuch(A Human)

By Siddarth Narrain

"Ever since I can remember, I have always identified myself as a woman. I lived in Namakkal, a small town in Tamil Nadu. When I was in the 10th standard I realised that the only way for me to be comfortable was to join the hijra community. It was then that my family found out that I frequently met hijras who lived in the city. One day, when my father was away, my brother, encouraged by my mother, started beating me with a cricket bat. I locked myself in a room to escape from the beatings. My mother and brother then tried to break into the room to beat me up further. Some of my relatives intervened and brought me out of the room. I related my ordeal to an uncle of mine who gave me Rs.50 and asked me to go home. Instead, I took the money and went to live with a group of hijras in Erode." 

 "My name is Sachin and I am 23 years old. As a child I always enjoyed putting make-up like `vibhuti' or `kum kum' and my parents always saw me as a girl. I am male but I only have female feelings. I used to help my mother in all the housework like cooking, washing and cleaning. Over the years I started assuming more of the domestic responsibilities at home. The neighbours started teasing me. They would call out to me and ask: `Why don't you go out and work like a man?' or `Why are you staying at home like a girl?' But I liked being a girl. I felt shy about going out and working. Relatives would also mock and scold me on this score. Every day I would go out of the house to bring water. And as I walked back with the water I would always be teased. I felt very ashamed. I even felt suicidal. How could I live like that? But my parents never protested. They were helpless."

You know the Indian laws also decreed eunuchs as incapable of acting as a guardian,drawing up a will or adopting a child.The hjijra community has been deprived of several rights under declared civil laws..These humans have actually no life of their own..They cannot vote,marry or own a ration card or a meek driving license.Educating them and ac

comadating them in a society is the only solution to the end of many problems faced by them..

Undestanding this discrimination in a democratic country is very intricate,atleast for me.

Now tell me,why are they still deprived and are treated as an ignorant part of this society..??
why are we waiting for that time when something like this happens either to us or someone close to us..??
By writing this i am not trying to prove anything,i just wrote because I wanted to and i feel pity for those people who hav come in this world for a special purpose..but unfortunately they are ill treated by their fellow "Humans"..After all,at the end of the day is about "BEING A TRUE HUMAN".


If we can't be with them,then we have no right to be againtst them..


Until next time its bye from my side..Garnier..

(In)Sane-First Love

In my earlier writings,I told you about my feelings regarding some mysterious yet sensitive issues..My today's blog is totally atypical...It is about my first love..Though i have fallen in love quite often and that too very quickly.But,no matter how hard i experiment i cannot forget my first love..I think no one can ever forget his/her first love...If someone claim they have forgotten their first love,I bet they are lying...
Now,talking of me,each and every memory of and about my first love is still crystal clear in my mind..It's been a kind of tradition in my life that the thing that had happened to me occasionally actually turns out to be the thing that i want to stay with me forever in my life..Be in Facebook or this blog..:)

I remember,I was in class 9 when i joined this tution..There was a girl with nice hairs and a cute smile..I dont know if this has happened with anyone of you or not but there is something in the girls wearing spectacles that always makes me fall for them..But,to be very frank,that girl wearing spectacles did not excite me that much..

She used to come with her friend..Her friend left the tution after a week..One day in the midst of our class,she recieved one call..She asked for the permission and went out of the room..I did not pay any attention to it as i was busy wrangling my math problem.
Then,out of the blue,she opened the door and asked for the permission,from our stringent teacher, to take me out for a moment..The teacher nodded..

"My friend is on call and she want to talk to you ",she said..
  I was literally trembling at that time..
"Hello",that's all i managed to say at that point..Huh..
"My friend really likes you",the girl on the phone said prior her hand reached that red button on her cell phone..
I was numb at that moment..I had no idea what to say in such conditions at that stage of my life( by the way,now i have full idea)...
Then,abruptly,our teacher called for us..I was in all praise for my teacher at that moment who is persuing a "Gabbar" image for many of the students..The teacher turned out to be a knight in shining armour...

After the tution got over,she called for me..By that time,I was in full extol for myself..:))..
"I like you too",I said,even though i dont..
That night,i kept on thinking of her.Her talks were still lingering in my mind but,actually,I was trying to remember her face.
Next day,it was Sunday(test time),and we had our tution in the morning..
I did not take any mark of her during the time of the test..But,after the test got over we walked to each other..
The chocolate(Dairy Milk) was the first gift that i gave her that day..And a heart shaped,pink colored keyring was my first gift,,I wondered what the hell would i do with a pink colored keyring..No wonder again,I took it and kept in my pocket...

So,that is how my first love happened...

I fancy that after reading this you all will remember your first love,no matter if that is only fleetingly...
Until next time,it's bye from my side..
                          
            EXAMS TIME

God-Something Or Everything 2

After writing my first blog,I had butterflies flying in my stomach.To start the proceedings,i showcased my writing to my sister.Starting from my hairstyles to my clothes to my girlfriends and to many more myriad stuff,her appreciation is the thing i crave for.To put it in lucid language,she's the BOSS of my life.And to be frank,i feel elated being driven by the Boss like her...:))...
"The first nod of  positive reception has come",I thought when i saw my sister smiling..After that everyone else followed the Boss's command...Some "patted" me,others "totally agreed" with my stuff.Alias to the fact that light reaches our eyes prior to the sound of thunder during rain,a question that lights up among the sound of apperciation was "Am i confused about the existence of God???"...Ummmm....Maybe..
But I could not completely dispense this question,so i decided to ponder over it,all over again..

I belive in "Real" god,the one who orchestrate everything real around us i.e the "original"  trees,animals,sun,moon etc.I dont believe in "Fictional" god,the one who resides in temples,mosques etc.
I think family is the best place where you can raise your most paradoxical questions.I did exactly the same.
But,fortunately,i could not get any influential answer.So,here i am,pleading you all to give an answer.

Why are we,who claim to be his firm believers,are shearing those god created trees  for our profit..???
 What is ironical is the fact that we are not only obilerating his creations,we are also creating temples,mosques etc in place of those destructions...why we are doing so??
To worship "real god" ????Really???Well,i dont think so.I mean,how can we say that we are his followers when we are ourselves  devastating his identity which exists in the form of plantation also...??
Hold on,the sarcasm does not end here...We are killing and eating animals too..
We are being killed by We...
We and animals are also his creations...Right???
Then,why are we,in the name of god are hurting him...?
 These were just handful questions thati i have put infront of you.Numerous such questions can be further raised..

Second after second,day by day,we are going away from  the "Real God" and our proxemics with the "fictional God" is exuberating...At present(hopefully in near future also),I am a stiff believer of this "GURU MANTRA"...

"Neither i can kick  him(fictional),nor i can pick him,I can just stick with 'real' him"...

I wish everyone in the world,atleast,try to emulate this..so that i can crow "I have done my bit"

In the end i would like to quote my favourite line these days..
Life is always a battle between memory and forgetfulness.What we care to remember and what we prefer to forget is often a measure of who and what we are...
:)
:)